The other day my husband and I had a discussion about the songs he’s written me over the years – none of them are particularly serious. For example: Booger Day refers to a time where I was being particularly persnickety and he threatened to pull a booger out of his nose and stick it on me – one day. On our one-year dating ‘anniversary’, he re-tooled Stayin’ Alive into a song about our ‘anniversary’ and lip synched it to me while wearing a hideous blue courderoy leisure suit & pink paisley shirt. Cute Little Piece of Origami pays homage to how cute he thinks I am… None are very serious, deep, romantic love songs…

A friend of ours played a song for us that was a love song to his wife & family – very mushy & romantic. Being a huge mush myself I had a hard time holding back the tears.

Then I was very envious. Which now brings me back to the day my husband and I were discussing the songs he’s written me. I started brooding – getting very upset that he never wrote anything serious for me. This has been an on-going issue for me.

He gently reminds me of all those times he sat down with his guitar just staring at me and letting the music flow from his guitar – those are his songs to me. He’s rather clumsy when it comes to words, but music is the language of his heart. I have a hard time remembering that he expresses himself differently. I love words and express myself best through words, he loves music and expresses himself best through music…

I came across his notepad that he keeps in his studio the day after I yelled at him for “never writing me any serious love songs” – he had tried to write me a song… with serious lyrics. I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

I had to apologize for the expectation I placed on him – for making him feel that I’d only be happy if he’d write me a serious love song – with lyrics. And now that I was reminded of the songs he did write – on the spot while staring into my eyes, or breathing in after a long kiss, I have to say that I think those are the most special times I’ve had with him. Him being himself, expressing himself the best way he can. I have to continue to let my husband be who he is and not place unnecessary expectations on him.

It’s better for us both that way.