Reflections of a social dimwit.

I’ve been thinking about my sincere lack of social skills. Having been raised in a Greek family where even monday-night dinner is a social event, you’d think I’d be able to make friends at the drop of a hat. Actually, I’ve learned the art of being fake.

There are other factors that have contributed to my inability to make friends and be a good friend… mainly my experiences moving a lot as a kid and this one friend I had in high school.

First of all, my family moved a lot, i was shuffled from school to school – probably only staying in one school for less than 3 years – hardly long enough to compete with the kids who’ve been together since kindergarten.

Secondly – I had a really good friend in high school. Her name was Katie. She was the first “born-again” Christian I’ve ever met. I looked up to her and loved being able to talk about anything with her. We did our homework together, played Police records at her house, worked on our Myan pyramid for social studies in her basement… Then one day she said that maybe I should find other friends to do stuff with…

Ouch.

Since then (even before, I was always a shy kid) I’ve had problems opening up to potential friends. I’m sure I’ve been seen as aloof or even snobbish because of my inability to let people in. I’ve become fake. I hide my true feelings and end up holding it all in until I dump it on my bewildered husband late at night…

and all this leads to a feeling of intense isolation – and a need to express myself on mediums such as my blog and message boards, hoping to find some sense of camaraderie that I can’t find in real life…

Re-learning Grace

well, i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the direction God’s been taking me and my husband, and i see that we’re not the only ones moving this way.

For some reason, a lot of folks i know are re-thinking their approach to life and God, and latching on to Grace – and the true meaning of living a life of Grace.

This is actually harder than living by the law… at least to me. at least i used to have a rulebook… now all those rules i held on to so tightly have been tossed to the wind…

It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless, because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression.
Romans 4:13-15

But I know the dangers of living Grace without Truth (i.e. liscense…) and the inverse (legalism), i’m scared of dropping off the OTHER deep end. I’ve already played with legalism and the game chewed me up & spit me out – i want to save myself from going over the other side… and I think i can do it – with my husband & church as accountability…

let ‘em have our freedom of speech

(Reply to a post regarding the secularization of America…)

let ‘em have our freedom of speech.
*shrug*
we don’t use it to glorify God anyway.

Seriously now. (when i say “WE” in this post i mean the general christian population, not we as in you and me on this message board or even your church in particular…)

I am steamed about the past decade or so – christians being marginalized by society, but did you ever think that it may be our fault? (not YOURS or MINE, but ‘christianity’ as a whole).

We aren’t respected, we’re treated as fools, idiots and mindless drones.

We spout shit like “If you died tonight, where would you go?”, “God Hates Fags”, “Repent!!!!” and expect people to come to Christ in droves.

We hate – homosexuals, drug addicts, alcoholics, punks, skinheads, and other christians, yet we expect people to accept our message of Christ.

So is it any wonder that our freedoms are being stripped from us?

Face it, we’re a disliked people. not because we’re living like Christ, but because we’re living under spurious and restrictive laws of hate and condemnation.

We’d be hated anyway if we were truly living as Christ would have us live, but our love would outshine our hate.

So i say let them have it. We have more pressing issues at hand – like changing the way we live and think and treat others around us.

missing it…

I’m trying get myself (and others in the process) to think about what we as a CHURCH have been missing. We’re so busy protesting this or that, bombing abortion clinics, foaming at the mouth about a the first gay Bishop, that we’re forgetting PEOPLE, and the fact that GOD is the ultimate Judge and we puny humans really have no right to pass judgment on anyone because we’re really no better than those who don’t really know God. Not only that, but we’ve forgotten the Grace that God has extended to us in the first place – the Grace that made me His daughter when I really should be dead.

I’m trying to stir myself to action.

I’m still sorting this whole thing out.

Shifting…

Do discussions on predestination v. free will, tithing, “proper” worship, prayer postures really matter?

Let me explain.

Both my husband and I had a rather huge paradigm shift relatively recently. Mine’s been shifting for a a few years now, and my husband seems to have caught up this week…

It has to do with Christianity.

That is, does it really matter? Do all our theological and ethical discussions amount to anything? If Jesus were here. Now. Would we accept him? Or would WE be the pharisees? What would he be doing today? Would he be hanging out with the people behind the whole “Homosexual Agenda”? Would he happen to find Madalyn Murray O’Hair and her child & grandchildand eat supper with them? Would he do ANYTHING about the infractions to our first amendment rights? or would he just tell them “Let them have it”?

Don’t we know that we’re going to lose this earthly battle? don’t we already know that our efforts to thwart evil in this lifetime will fail? But don’t we also know who the ultimate Victor is? Aren’t we supposed to be on His side? And what does being on His side really mean?</hypothetical questions>

There’s something more.
We’re missing something. Something HUGE.

We’re not here to tell the junkie to clean his act up before he can come to Jesus. Jesus takes people as they are.

We can’t tell a homosexual that he can’t be a member of a community of faith because he’s living in sin. So what? I’m a sinner. Not a day goes by that i’m not on my face repenting of something. Is homosexuality, alcoholism, addiction, lust, greed any more of a sin than cussing, lying, harboring hatred, legalism? Did Jesus tell the woman at the well to come back when she’s with her proper husband and hasn’t committed adultury for a year?

*sigh*

Crisis of faith.

(and you know, i don’t want any “answers” – if you know what I mean… I’m spouting, venting, hoping some of this strikes a chord with any of you… I’m just finding my way through the dark with only my next step illuminated by some invisible flashlight….)

More stuff about record companies.

Now THIS is a wayto look at things…
PittsburghLIVE.com – Record companies have reason to worry

Recording industry in a bind…

Recording industry in a bind

Did they ever think that shoddy record sales may be due to shoddy bands recording shoddy music?

Can Church Change?

Just reading a bit on one of my favorite web sites (next-wave – the link is to the left).
I’ve been thinking about this: why must we keep talking about “post-modern” (pm) churches or changing the way the church does things to fit the PMs? I guess the reason is that most churches are stuck in the 50′s – or 70′s – doing the same ol’ thing, and they probably don’t even KNOW they may need to do a little changing every now and again.

In my opinion, the very nature of ministry is to be culturally relevant in order to be effective (making diciples of all nations… mt 28:19). If ministry is stuck in age-old (emphasis on old) practices, it ceases to be culturally relevant.

Understandably, though – change is difficult, but should it be?

Fair Use & Rip-Proof CDs

Rip Proof CDs? CNN.com – Can rip-proof CDs save the music biz? – Sep. 10, 2003
These guys are going way too far. What ever happened to fair use? The record and radio industry balked and pouted like children when the tape recorder came out – afraid it would take away from sales. They recovered. Now they’re pissed off again as evidenced by the slew of RIAA lawsuits. And they’ve decided to start making rip-proof cds. Hell if I’ll buy one.

Interesting last line: “In Germany and Japan, where the labels began selling copy-protected CDs in 2000, sales have continued to decline. ” Way to go, guys. Sue your CUSTOMERS, give them trite music in rip-proof CDs, and watch the profits tumble… even more.

Democratic Presidential Debate

I’m watching/listening to the Democratic Presidential Debate tonight.
All I have to say is this:
1) If I were a democrat, I’d be running for the hills.
2) With all the protesters and outbursts, it makes the whole exercise look like a circus.
3) If any of these democrats make it to office, I’m taking my bass, my computer and my husband and heading to the farm in Greece.